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Ever wonder Ever wonder what it feels to be truly mad over someone. It seems I have lived my whole life roaming from one woman to another..living from day to day looking and searching for that person that completes you, makes you feel whole. I've searched for it in my work, in my nightlife, in all things material thinking that those things made me complete and made me feel like a man. Yet, deep down inside..when everything is quiet, my heart tells me otherwise. I'm not sure why or how I decided to take certain paths always second guessing myself, thinking that the person I'm with has to fit within state of acceptability...yet I understand now that no amount of job, car, or house will ever satisfy the things that really matter.....the smell of strawberry in the hair, a smile that's frozen in time, or a touch that helps you to understand what clouds are made out of. I realize that I have no control over these things and that fate or maybe chance are the only things that I can rely on.
I guess I'm not writing this with the hopes of finding or even receiving a response from someone that will eventually lead me to these gates. I realize that no matter how attractive I may be, no matter how good a job I have, charm, personality...nonsmoker, smoker....none of it matters. In the end it's all a desperate cry to find that magical something that makes life that much sweeter. It's so bittersweet to know what it is you desire and yet have no control in finding a suitable conclusion.
To all of you looking and searching, be free and open to what's available. Love, companionship doesn't come neatly wrapped and waiting at your front door. It is the imperfection in others that we often find what we are looking for as well as someone who is willing to love our own. I'm not sure why I wrote this, just felt a need to express what I feel in the moment.
Good luck to you all.

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